Cassie's Mantra Concerning Chocolate

Rule No. 1
If you have melted chocolate all over your hands, you're not eating it fast enough.

Rule No. 2
Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries, all count as fruit.  You may eat as many as you want.

Rule No. 3
How do you get two pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car.   Eat it in the parking lot.

Rule No. 4
Diet Tip:  Eat a chocolate bar before each meal.  It will take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.  Besides, chocolate is a staple, isn't it?

Rule No. 5
If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge.  Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

Rule No. 6
If you eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that considered a balanced diet?  I mean really, don't they actually counteract one another?

Rule No. 7
Money talks; chocolate sings.  A day without chocolate is a day without sunshine.

Rule No. 8
Chocolate has many preservatives.  Preservatives make you look younger, don't they?

Rule No. 9
Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today.  That way, at least you'll get one thing done.

Rule No. 10
A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories for the day.  Isn't that handy?

Rule No. 11
If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer.  But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?

Rule No. 12
If you're upset or depressed, eat lots of chocolate.

Extra Questions:
What is two inches wide, six inches long and drives a woman wild?
A bar of chocolate (and you thought it was something dirty, didn't you?)

Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
Because no one wants to quit.


(With permission from Anne Collins Weight Loss Program)